24 Signs you’re a Hot Mess (+1)

1. After scarfing down a bowl of cereal in a blind fit of hunger, you put the milk in the pantry and the cereal in the fridge.

2. You don’t realize you’ve done number one until the following day.

3. You wake up in your makeup from the night before (and it’s still better than waking up with no makeup at all).

4. You tell everyone you bought Reese’s eggs for Champagne Thursday, but forgot them in the car which is on the 4th floor of a parking garage two blocks away.

5. You make plans to go out almost every weekend, but always end up at home because, truth be told, you’re just too lazy to get ready.

6. You order a fine white wine with your fried pickles.

7. You lose any of the following more than twice a week:

  • Hair ties
  • Bobby pins
  • Keys
  • Chapstick
  • Mind

8. You go to step in your undies and trip.

9. You do the above and rip undies in half.

10. You execute numbers 8 and 9 flawlessly, and then you fall on your face and take your MacBook down with you (thank goodness for that magnetized power cord).

11. You pack a bitchin’ lunch, and then leave it at home.

12. You realize around 1pm that you didn’t actually leave your lunch at home; you just left it in the car (which has been roasting in a shade-less parking lot for the last 5 hours).

13. You’re a female and have ever been caught peeing on a fire hydrant in front of the Sand Dollar.

14. You’re a female and have ever been caught peeing anywhere at all other than a toilet.

15. You get sun burnt under clothes.

16. You wet yourself standing in line to buy cigarettes…and you don’t even smoke.

17. You turned the wrong way on Ashley River Rd. and don’t realize it for half an hour.

18. You wake up with one flip flop, chicken wings in your purse, and your best friend’s shirt on.

19. You drunk dial your parents at age 26.

20. You drink Carlo Rossi straight from the…jug.

21. You’ve found yourself in situation #20 often enough to develop a special way of holding the jug so it doesn’t hurt your hand as much.

22. You’ve chipped your front tooth on a jug of Carlo Rossi.

23. Your best friend accidentally chipped your other front tooth with the same jug on the same night.

24. You have ever found yourself wearing a camo suit, Yankees hat, and chugging Smirnoff wine coolers while holding a light bulb:

 

BONUS: Ronii adds #25

25. You send your boss a blog post about the 24 things that make you a hot mess with no content or explanation as to why you wrote the list (and from the picture she knows that all of these are personal experiences) and a note that says, "feel free to add a preface".