Ode To The Shopping Mall Salesperson

Please! Let me shop in peace! 

I see you lurking at the entrance to your stores, ready to pounce on inexperienced and unaware consumers. You wish there were more of us, eager to buy into your promotions, your one-day specials.

We exchange hellos that I intentionally rush so that you don’t try to pick my consumer brains.

…But you do.

Am I shopping for anything in particular? No.

Can you help me find anything? No.

Do I have any questions? No. 

I’m not even two feet into the store. What would I have a question about? How can you help me find something if I’m not shopping for anything in particular?

If, after this awkward and annoying semi-conversation, I decide to continue into the depths of your over-priced mall store, you start to follow me with your hands clasped behind your back, you can just forget it.  

And, for the last time, I DO NOT WANT TO SAVE 10% TODAY AND OPEN A STORE CREDIT CARD. 

Perhaps, pushy and overbearing salesperson, if you had just nodded hello and asked “how ya doing?” I would have spent a little more time in your store. What you don’t know about me is that I’m a browser. A looker. I meander. I spend a lot of time before I make a purchase and what you HOPE I don’t know is that I can pretty much buy anything you sell anywhere else for cheaper. 

I can get really cute clothes at TJ Maxx or Forever 21.

I can get a fresh pair of Nike’s at the outlets in North Charleston.

I can get the new D&G fragrance from Amazon at almost half price.

So, is it…Chip? Listen Chip. Granted, I came to the mall to browse and given the right set of circumstances, I may have made a purchase. Maybe even in your store. But, when you stand at the entrance trying to coax me inside with coupons in your hand, I really will ignore you and walk by. 

Retailers, take note.

~Coco